RogueMuirHead: Photography and Writing

How Many Roads Must I walk down? Introspective

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Location: Santa Rosa, CA
Feature Photo: 395 North, Sierra Nevada Mountain Range

A new chapter is opening up, life is changing for me. It’s a little hard to adapt to as I have been doing the same thing for the past few years. Taking the same steps each day of nothing but work.

I had been putting my desires on the back burner. It was quite likely they wouldn’t spoil and I could have them for later. However, I felt like I kept forgetting them. My writing, my newest love of photography, the natural world. What had mattered most than my own state of mind was survival. Making sure that the money was there to pay the bills, have extra for spending on luxuries of meals out with friends or that daily trip to Starbucks to keep my energy up at the retail job. Isn’t that how we all are? Sometimes we just need to get our soul crushed to shine on.

Sure, I got a few vacations a year. Simply leaving for the farthest reaches. The various landscapes calling to me; falling in love all over again with the desert, that breached my own barriers. Each time I would whisper “Things will change. Things will be different when I return to my life.” And, yet not always.

Little by little I have worked hard to make a difference for myself. I found a job that I am falling in love with everyday. I am engaged and constantly learning something new as a park aide. The trails I hike lead me to the most spectacular views and dreams that I could only begin to describe. When I lead a group to the trail heads looking out over the hills of this area, even after the fires that ravaged our community you can see the spectacular regrowth forming.

There are still many steps that I will take on this new adventure. There are many roads that I will walk down to discover myself. There may be a point where I may go back to the old ways, however, I promise myself I will continue to strive hard and make sure this adventure continues on.

“Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am – a reluctant enthusiast….a part-time crusader, a half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure.” -Edwawrd Abbey

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