Well it has been a long time, hasn’t it? I wish I could say that since I last posted that I went on the longest trip imaginable disappearing into the desert hills for a long quiet introspective moment into my soul. Well, actually yeah I did do that for ten days! But, it was a difficult time for me up until that point. I mean how long has it been? July…August since we last spoke? Regardless, apologies for the disappearing act. What a long strange trip it’s been.
I tend to let the realities of my work life consume me. Most of you know from my postings that I work retail full time. Doing what I love and or want to do makes it difficult that is for me anyways. I allow the work life to weather away at me until I am in a cycle of waking up just to sprint to work and returning home to allow myself the necessary rest in order to return to the same focus. Living to work as it were. Being in this reality allows little rest for my mind or even the amazing creative flow I know I am fully capable of. There is very little variety and adventure and I feel as if my soul is crying out in pain.
That is until a lot changed for me few weeks ago. Back in June I applied for a job with the regional park system in my area. I had been volunteering there for a few months, even wrote a few pieces. Essentially all I did was volunteer at their environmental center once a week feeding a few of the animals they had on display. This included Shelby the boxed tortoise, Rosie the western painted turtle, and a variety of sea life in their tide pool display. I had learned a lot and looked forward to each Tuesday from a break in my living to work routine to bask in the the passion I had grown accustomed to in nature. I wanted more of this. After some coaxing from a former coworker who was leaving and knew I would be a good fit, I applied. Even with that possibility running in the background of my life, I continued on the “normal” path that was established. I woke up and went to work. It seems like an all too easy cycle for us to fall into. I mean we earn that paycheck to pay for our food and shelter, but isn’t there more? Yet, for me in the coming I knew I would be leaving with Arizona on a wild ten day ride through the four corners of the Southwest, not really knowing where we would go, just as far away as we could venture.
It was almost a week before we left. And I could feel a kick from life,itself. A shift was coming when I checked my email one day. I had the job. The job of my newly realised dreams, I would be working for the center part time not only being paid to take care of the animals under my charge, but learning and teaching others. (That’s right, part of my new job requirement as a park aide is to do nature guided field trips for younglings! A new experience for me!) In my life I never once thought this was possible! And yet, even with my background in Art History, the difficulty of me going back to school for a new degree in ecology due to my “lovely” student loans, I am still able to follow a passion that part of me never knew was there. Hope was there. Even in the moments when I was lost for a bit. This new path will be interesting. I am still at the retail job, part time. I mean face it, still need money to function. But, who knows what else is on this path. Maybe, I’ll be able to earn money from another passion. I will continue to try and follow my happiness instead of the cycle.
So, that is the brief catchup for now. I will attempt to have a better schedule of Mondays, Wed, and Fridays once more with a few new retales, park tales, and oh yeah my experiences in the four corners and Abbey’s country. Thank you so much for your support and sticking around. Never give up. We don’t know what dreams may come.
*Me at Goosenecks State Park, a romp down Arizona’s childhood and Abbey Country*